I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life since I got to college. I can't really decide if I'm doing the right thing.
I was so excited to be a percussion performance major when I first got here. I was trying out for drumline and A-line and concert bands and jazz band and all sorts of crazy ensembles. I got into one. I didn't make a jazz lab, I didn't make a drumline. Neither of them.
Once I saw how ridiculous the jazz program was, I immediately started considering switching to being a Jazz Studies major. After all, UNT was the first one to offer a Jazz Studies degree in the nation, and it's one of the best jazz programs in the country. But after I didn't make a lab, watched all of the other drummers play, and took a lesson, I noticed I wasn't really as good as I thought I was. Not even close.
But I did make it into Jazz Singers II, which was exciting. What if I were a vocal jazz major? I would have to take two years of classical training, and then sing, not drum, the rest of my life. I don't know that I have that good of a voice. I don't think I could make it through two years of classical lessons. I can't really scat that well.
I really like all of the different multi-cultural ensembles here. My South Indian Ensemble is a lot of fun, and the Brazilian and Afro-Cuban ones sound like a blast too. Maybe I should be an ethnomusicology major. I would certainly enjoy traveling to distant places to learn about the world and culture of music. But that's also a lot of learning foreign languages, and social sciences classes, and moving away from the whole performing music aspect. I think I still want that, somehow.
Maybe I should just cook. I like cooking. I like eating. I love food. It's a lot of fun, creating something from nothing, experimenting, and knowing that people appreciate what you do. But I wouldn't have any music in my life. And culinary school's really expensive.
I wish I could be who I was in high school, but at a much higher level. I wish I could play in orchestras and jazz bands and sing in a Jazz Choir and learn about music that blows my mind, and cook and play ultimate and be in a ska band with my friends. But I don't think I can do that any more. I don't think the world will let me.
What do you think?
M
The more I hear the "follow your dreams" adage the less I feel it's worthwhile. I've been thinking a lot about my future since I got to college as well and the more I think about it the less I feel that my ideal profession (becoming a professor) is really what I want/need. I've developed this habit of thinking that dictates that my ideal job should be my job. But what if my ideal doesn't match reality? What if what I want isn't actually what I want? 4 years of education down the drain, that's what if.
ReplyDeleteThe only way to know for sure is to talk to people in that profession, find out exactly what the fuck you'd be doing every day. Because in our heads we make up this beautiful fantasy over the perfectly fulfilling and perfectly creative job, when something like that probably doesn't exist. It takes not only a shit-ton of work to get a job like that, but a stroke of luck, knowing the right people, etc. Not to mention the day to day monotones that are inherent in every job.
I've seriously been considering trade school to become an auto-mechanic after college just as a fallback. Trade school is cheap, auto-tech isn't too rigorous, and provides a decent job where I can use my hands and my problem solving skills every day. Will I get dirty? Hell yeah. Is the pay great? Hell no. Will I absolutely love it? Hell no, I'll be tired as fuck at the end of the day guaranteed, but school has made me realize one thing for sure. If you work your ass off each day and have a job where you don't stare at a screen all day, you'll probably be happier than the average IT/date entry/insurance salesman schmuck out there. Think Office Space, but without the excitement.
Recently I've decided to reconcile the impractical but ideal job of professor with something a little more pragmatic. I'll be minoring (maybe switch to double majoring) in Forestry and maybe get a less paying job, but for something I'd fully enjoy: being outdoors.
This says little about music majors, for sure, but I guess my only advice is to talk to people, see how competitive finding a job is, and if you're ready for a massive workload that might not even be for a job you'll be truly happy in. And don't limit just music to your discussions with people, go talk to some advisors (or whatever they have down there) about other areas that interest you, Google some stuff, gain some knowledge while you're at it.
Well, it feels like that was a whole pile/rant of not much helpful, but what the hell.
-Bryce
i like the forestry idea though. that sounds pretty sweet.
ReplyDeletefinding a job is gonna be competitive whatever i'm doing, and in the music business, it's mostly having good connections, with a little luck and good playing, or teaching, or singing, or whatever need be. so i don't think it really matters what i do job availability wise.
but i'm definitely talking to an advisor soon. probably thursday.
thanks dude.
Bryce- If you become an auto-mechanic you should definitely give me car repairs fo' free. You know, because we're friends and all, and I'm not above abusing that relationship.
ReplyDeleteMason-
You have two options, both of which will suck at some points, and will make you angry and depressed about the world and yourself, but in the end should fulfill you and make you happy.
Option 1:
Choose one thing. This entails picking (singing, drumming, jazz, ethnomusicology, cooking) one thing and going for it with your heart and soul. You will probably loose some of the other things you love in the process, but once you're really good at one thing and employed you can always pick them back up. During college you'll learn to resent the thing you're majoring in, but hell you're going to be PRO STATUS at whatever it is, and that will make you happy.
Option 2:
Pick a major, but only kinda. Say, "Hey, I'll be a percussion performance major," but still sing, and play frisbee, and cook, etc. You will be STRESSED OUT OF YOUR MIND for a good amount of time- but, you'll be doing everything you love. You'll find a job, although it probably won't be a dream job. But when you look back at college you'll be able to say, "everything I did prepared me for now, and yeah it kinda sucked, but I made it without loosing myself," and that will make you happy.
Both of these things will prepare you for after college. One of them is going to feel like work, the other like you have no control. It's up to you. I'd talk to an advisor though, because they'll help point you in the right direction.
Personally, I'd go with the later. I'd rather ride the hurricane out then run away like a nancy-pants (this is a figurative hurricane I am talking about. I would leave if there was a real hurricane). Yeah, it will SUCK ASS sometimes, but when I look back I will smile and be like "hell yeah I did that." "mmhmm, that was me."
I will major in something sciency, and minor in food studies. When I get out of college, I will do whatever I want to do- whether that means going into medical research, or maybe I'll open a restaurant. What matter most is that I'm happy, and I have the ability to work a steady job with a monthly pay check.
People will always need medical researchers and cooks.
And people will always need musicians (because it's like the third oldest profession after prostitution and farming).
Mason,
ReplyDeleteI know you don't really want to hear this, but pretty much everyone goes through this line of thought at least once in college and many more times throughout life. It has really been on my mind a lot lately-for me not you! I realize more and more that I really miss the creative side of me. If I got to start over, I don't really know what I would do but something that allows me to think creatively and somehow work with youth or kids again. I can say that I am happy that my job pays well- it has allowed me to do some pretty cool things- but that is really all I like about my job. Well, that and that the fact that I don't bring it home with me. You are blessed both musically and intellectually and have time on your side. You were wise to gain some college credit ahead of time so along with the fact that you are extra young- you have time to just think and explore your options for a while. We talked before about taking a year to live abroad and that is still an option. There are also lots of ways to travel through the school so check into those if that sounds interesting. I can tell you've learned a ton already and just figuring out the whole college thing takes some time. Keep working hard and keep exploring new ideas. We'll talk more over turkey. Miss you, M